Couples Therapy

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by
surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”

– Epicurus

In couples therapy, I walk alongside you and your partner in understanding why you find yourselves in the same patterns of frustration, conflict, and disconnection. I also help you discover and practice new ways to reach out for and lean on each other, even when times get tough.

I offer therapy for couples of every orientation utilizing Gottman Method therapy, which is based on John Gottman’s 40 years of research with couples. The Gottman Method is practical and skills based—empowering partners to improve their communication, deepen their connection, and better manage conflict.

Why Couples Therapy?

Have you ever noticed how you and your partner get in the same kind of argument over and over again? You wonder what happened to the joy you used to feel or being excited to spend time with each other. The things you argue about may be different each time, but it generally goes the same way. You’ve been feeling unappreciated, unheard, and unloved. You find yourselves going around and around, not quite sure how to get off this awful merry-go-round. All these things, with no sign of any of it getting better, are making you concerned about your relationship.

Each of us struggle with “core issues” that surface again and again within relationships. Consequently, you and your partner get stuck in the same negative patterns. Although you’re actually doing everything you know how, to prevent a relationship crisis, failure, or breakup. You find yourself relying on the same familiar strategies hoping for different results.

In therapy, we will come to understand:

  • why you and your partner get stuck in the same patterns over and over again
  • the core issues, emotions, and unmet needs that fuel this negative pattern
  • to communicate without judging, shaming, or criticizing; but rather with empathy, understanding, and compassion
  • ways to connect in deep meaningful ways

Do We Need Couples Therapy?

Here are some of the most common challenges that bring couples to seek couples therapy:

  • pre-marital/pre-engagement counseling
  • infidelity (physical and/or emotional)
  • discernment about divorce/separation/ending the relationship
  • navigating transitions (new baby, retirement, empty-nest, etc…)
  • communication difficulties
  • parenting difficulties
  • disconnection in relationship (physical/emotional/sexual)

I offer therapy for couples of every orientation. During couples counseling, I seek to address barriers that may be hindering your relationship satisfaction and offer guidance in any of the following areas:

  • Improving communication
  • Strengthening friendship and admiration
  • Learning ways to argue more productively
  • Creating dialogue around trust, compassion, and empathy
  • Enhancing intimacy and closeness
  • Experiencing life transitions more smoothly
  • Navigating divorce/separation
  • Counseling for couples planning marriage (pre-marriage counseling)

Where Do We Start?

Initial Intake Session

Our initial meeting will be 60 minutes in length. During this time, I’ll gather information about your relationship, your reasons for seeking therapy support, and your specific goals. I’ll request that you complete a relationship questionnaire in order to provide specific feedback and to tailor therapy to ypur specific needs as a couple.

You will also have an opportunity to ask questions and learn more about the therapy process.

Individual Therapy Sessions

After our first session, I’ll meet with each of you individually for 50 minutes. Individual sessions allow me to spend more time getting to know you and your hopes for your relationship. I’ll also ask questions about your life experiences, family background, and personal history, as these factors play an important role in how you relate as a couple.

Joint Therapy Sessions

Finally, we’ll meet back together to review the results of the relationship questionnaire. I’ll share my thoughts and reflections about why you find yourselves stuck in your negative patterns, and I’ll offer suggestions and recommendations about how we can move forward.